Toys with blades and brothers with issues

[sithen.livejournal.com]

Dear Diary.

Last night, hung out in tavern trying to repair multi-dimensional jigsaw device after annoying monkey-child refused to grasp principles of Iltyr wire sculpture and removed vital locking piece. Honestly. All one requires is basic understanding of trigonometry. What are they teaching four year olds these days?

Nice human lad came in as I finished and asked me to play card game. V.good! Not entirely certain what purpose of card game or other discussion was - no idea what 'Nigerian scheme' really is. Told me game was to pick out cards that added up to more than opponent's. Most strange - did not shuffle deck before handing over.

Won first game, go me! Quite odd - human not surprised, then tried to buy me round of drink to celebrate, and looked irate when I ordered tea. Suspect all not quite normal here - perhaps I made wee social error like time I decapitated prisoner while testing anti-escape device for Moonshadow? Tried to have me drink alcohol, but I am v.good Mechanista and will do as Cathal says given possibility of having 'Underage drinker' tattooed across forehead. Brothers v.silly.

...now that think about it, why does everyone give me alcohol all the time? Rather nice, but odd.

Said that as had played human game, human must play Iltyr game. Human insisted more card game is good idea, but I pulled out nice toy anyway and demonstrated. Reflex tester worked like charm, and was not even flensed a little bit by it as now know locking mechanism inside out and hands no longer shake badly when thinking about what happened last time. Go me!

V.strange. Human said 'Oh, I think it is time for me to go home now.' v.suddenly. Also went odd colour - from brown to white. However, put on patent 'cute Iltyr boy' face and blinked rapidly and hopefully, and he sat down and tried. Number of people guilted into playing with me today - 1. V.good!

Most impressed, initially, since seemed to work toy by listening to make up for inferior human inability to see temperature changes in mercury substructure. Most strange, have noticed similar expression on own face when designing locks. Was, however, rather horrified when human jammed cards into mechanism to stop opening and put on table. Think Glen-human actually smirked...

Since one knows how mechanism works, panic was in order - lunged for it, got card out of one side before inevitable explosion. Was damn fast with hat to get over it, but not quite so fast with other hand. Hat shredded when blades went all Warrior on me. Glove ruined. Also, fingers...still present. V.good. Have got most of shrapnel out by now, at least - have special tool for such at home. Alas - wonderful toy quite ruined! Cried. Mean human.

Human looked at sad Iltyr face - and gave me gem - yay! Nice human!

Almost as nice as Warrior Brenna, who is Marquessa-type person, which is v.good - nice to see inferiors making best of themselves. She delivered box of cute child's tools, wrenches, etc. Nicely made - almost usable for real work! Will give to niece or nephew when Cathal finally shacks up.

Later, talk to Tara and v.bad Iltyr called Vanadelin, who claims not to have a caste. Oh, we've heard that before, haven't we? Prolly defrocked Warrior who tripped on own blade or something. Later, Ashialyra comes over, drapes self all over dodgy Iltyr while Tara is cutesy at him.

Experience massively strong desire to hand toy to Vanadelin, but have no idea why. Also, really quite frustrating - am the prettiest, but Vanadelin is getting all the attention. Tell him as am v.good Mechanista lad, no possibility of conversation with dodgy casteless Iltyr, and hustle Tara out of Tavern. Yay, go me!

Try to get Tara to come up and visit brother, but she interrogates me on what I was saying in Iltyr. V.embarassing, drop into mumbles. Must maintain image of cute innocent Iltyr boy, not admit that can swear in own language like dwarf engineer who has dropped spanner on foot. Er, also small matter of saying nice things to her in Iltyr, which would have been perfectly okay if Vanadelin had not opened big mouth and translated. Bastard.

V.bad. Tara ran off in pink fit. Tiny little humans so strange.

Went to see Cathal. Walked in with remains of Cath's hat, blades, etc, cut myself a right one seeing brother prancing about in black dress with lace hem. Still recovering from sight. May require therapy. Ideas of masculinity becoming increasingly confused.

Asked why he was wearing women's dress. No response, of course. Merely got lecture on not blowing up clothing, and 'You only have two hands, could you stop getting them skinned?' Hardly my fault! Then sent outside to distract mad haddock of Arcanist while brother put men's clothes back on. Honestly. Do I look like comic relief?

Kel came in, interrogated about bandaged hand, and made Cathal fuss over me. Preened, as am obviously focus of room, at least until was asked how injury happened. Always having my private affairs pried into! No one understands me, obviously. Explained about Glen and his explosive card trick to humour them.

Kelindel said humans could come up with unusual surprises. I said that when device blew up and flensed hand I was pretty bloody surprised. Cathal clipped me one around the ear and said to Kelindel "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over him." Kelindel said "I think he was pretty bloody surprised."

Cath goes all funny - privately think rather likes Kelindel, despite image of easily riled over protective sibling - so to make feel better I say 'I was enumerating a list, I was surprised and bloody and pretty."

Got dodgy look from both older Iltyr. Seeing this a lot lately.

Question re children came up somehow. Why does this always happen? Small animate lawn gnomes hardly interesting, and would not go with home decor of forge, blades, and liquid mercury. In order to deflect attention, commented Father would have picked out partner for Cathal by now - yay arranged marriages! Cath got peculiar look on face, like had just licked dwarf, and threw Kelindel and myself out. Rather strange lad, Cathal, for an older brother.

Sat on stairs and had nice talk about family, all friendly and smiling. Smiled a lot. Face hurt after a while. Not certain where feelings of all-consuming rage began to come from, but hope Empath Kelindel got a nasty headache after making me smile so bloody much. I mean, what am I, a foxlin? Seriously.

Kelindel gave some new age dolphins and rainbows lecture about living for yourself and not other people. Found it best not to comment that when other people will skin you for using wrong fork maybe is best not to act like nancing hippy.

People disturbed today - 3. V.good!